*Chatting about marriage and divorce rates in Australia*
Girl in my class: Marriage rates have actually gone down according to google.
Me: Well let gays get married and that marriage rate will go up.
Teacher: God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.
Me: Yeah, well, God didn't create boob jobs but you still have one.
My dad has nicknames for all of The Avengers...
The L’Oreal brothers Male Katniss The green special snowflake who’s always pissed off Captain ”my skintight suit will make you feel uncomfortable” Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist The chick who got added in to make everything look less gay Robin Scherbatsky HE SHOULDN’T HAVE DIED The Angry Pirate
chazzasaurus: the-future-mrs-solo: whatheballs: shavingryansprivates: i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience unless you experience my penis I just choked on my food. Well that escalated quickly